Monsters 101

Medusa, Daleks, Dementors--monsters! We love ‘em.

Seems like every culture throughout history has monsters. Big hairy, scary things that come from the sea, the deep caverns of earth, or outer space.  

A dragon from Thailand

Here are just a few examples that I hope will show the amazing scope and variety of big, bad bogeymen and behemoths.

Medusa

The face of Medusa, from Greek mythology, was hideous, and her hair was a tangle of venomous snakes. If you looked at her, you turned to stone. Now, this is an aberration worthy of the name monster. Bonus points for the turning-to-stone thing. (Incidentally, the hero Perseus beheaded the Medusa and used her head as a weapon, until he later gave it to Athena as a decoration for her shield. There's no accounting taste.)

Medusa, now marketing a unique
 line of hair care products

Iya

The storm-monster, Iya, is a character in Lakota mythology. He is a son of Inyan, the creator, and younger brother of Iktomi, the spider. He eats everything in his path—people, animals, trees, houses, whole villages—nothing is safe from his insatiable appetite. Faceless and formless, he is a tornado, a hurricane, a snowstorm, a rainstorm. He is thunder and lightning. He is wind and hail. Although he is dreaded, he is not seen as evil, since he is merely performing his assigned task. Iya lives under the water, and when he travels, he carries a tipi--painted with magical symbols--that holds all the storms like a quiver holds arrows.

Iya, blowing off steam

Shen

And the award for most artistic monster goes to. . . .

In Chinese mythology, the Shen is a shape-shifting clam-monster—a giant, pearl-producing clam who lives on the bottom of the sea. He belches bubbles that rise to the surface of the water and turn into mirages of stunning mansions and other architectural marvels. While this was doubtless disorienting to sailors, I’m afraid we have to give the Shen low marks in Scary, Ugly, and Dangerous. He might make the cover of Architectural Digest, but when it comes to scary, he is Frank Lloyd Wrong.

The Shen, Monster with an artistic flair

Bal-Bal

Bl-yuck! The Bal-Bal, of Philippine mythology, hangs out at funerals and graves the way Ralph and Potsie hang out at the malt shop. Basically, he steals corpses and eats them. Once Bal-Bal has eaten a body, he puts the trunk of a banana tree in the coffin to try to hide his evil deed. This sharp-clawed monster, as you might guess, has breath that could peel paint at fifty paces.

A "haunt" of the Bal-Bal

Nessie

The Loch Ness Monster, a cryptid said to inhabit Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands, is the best known of all lake monsters. Is it a dragon? A sea serpent? A plesiosaur left over from the Days of the Dinos? There have been several sightings since the first in 1933, and even a few photographs, all disputed by the scientific community. Nessie is perhaps the most famous subject of cryptozoology, the study of animals whose existence has not been proven.

Nessie's first photo shoot

Zombies

[Cue creepy music.] Zombies are corpses that have been raised from the dead by some sort of sorcery. They are able to walk and talk, but they are controlled by a master. The Zombies have their roots in African and Haitian mythology, and have been greatly popularlized in horror films and lately, in humorous tv commercials.

Undead, over-acting

The Daleks

Although the British sci-fi series Dr. Who has its share of people-flashing-fangs and heads bobbing from serpent necks, it is the Daleks who pose the greatest threat to the Doctor, the human race, and the space-time continuum. The Daleks are cyborgs created by the scientist Davros, who merged a race of extraterrestrials with robotic shells. Purged of pity and compassion, the Daleks know only hatred. They look rather like giant salt and pepper shakers, and their whiney battle cry is “Ex-ter-mee-nate.”

Ex-ter-mee-nate!

So why do myth-makers invent monsters? Sea serpents and trolls and Cyclops and Balrogs and Dementors  and fire-breathing dragons and blood-sucking vampires and giant, radioactive grasshoppers?

I think it’s because we all have monsters to face in our lives, giants too big for us to slay in our own strength, forces beyond our control—atrocities committed by human monsters, diseases of the body and mind and sudden disasters and night terrors and death. Monsters are real, and the myth-makers put a face on them so that we can see them and understand them better.

Jabberwocky

One of the roots of monster means “to show.” We see this connection in the word demonstrate.  For ancient sea-faring people, sea monsters personified the very real dangers of stormy seas. In a more modern example, the dementors in the Harry Potter books suck all the joy out their surroundings. That sounds a lot like depression. Monsters in mythic tales show us our fears and challenge us to face them. To summon our courage. To use our wits. To seek Heaven's help. To conquer monsters with what we have at hand. 

We face monsters in stories so that we can better face the monsters in everyday life.

Bigfoot

Anansi the Spider

Where do stories come from?

According to a legend from Ghana, once there were no stories in the world. Nyame the Sky God kept all the stories for himself.

Anansi the Spider went to Nyame and asked him how much it would cost to buy the stories.

Nyame named his price, and the price was very high. In order to acquire the stories, Anansi must perform a series of difficult tasks. He must capture four legendary troublemakers: Onini the Python, Osebo the Leopard, the Mmoboro Hornets, and Mmoatia the Dwarf. 

First Anansi went to talk to the Python. 

“I am honored to meet such a great champion as yourself,” said Anansi. "Your size is impressive. Longer than any other serpent’s.”

The Python hissed with pleasure. 

“Is it true,” said Anansi, that you are longer than a palm branch?”

"Yes-s-s-s-s!"

“Of course, some of the beasts say that is only a myth—that no serpent is longer than a palm branch.”

“Ridiculous-s-s-s-s. They are only jealous-s-s-s-s.”

“I know a way we could settle this,” said Anansi. “It is really very easy.”

And so Anansi tricked the Python into stretching out on a palm branch. And then Python permitted Anansi to tie him to the branch, in order to get a more accurate measurement. Anansi then picked up the bound Python and carried him to Nyame.

In a similar manner, Ananse tricked the Leopard, the Hornets and the Dwarf and delivered them all to the Sky God.

Nyame, true to his word, gave the stories to Anansi, and that’s how stories came to be in the world.

Anansi the trickster spider, is a famous character from the mythology of Ghana, Africa. He has mythic connections with other legendary tricksters such as Brer Rabbit, Aunt Nancy ( southern U.S.), Raven (Alaska), Coyote (Native American), and even Spider Man.

Anansi is small and weak. He would be no match for his bigger, stronger adversaries, except for one thing--his wits. Thus, for centuries, the stories of Anansi have brought courage to many underdogs, many Davids facing Goliaths.

My favorite telling of an Anansi story is found in the Caldecott-winning children’s book, Anansi the Spider: a Tale from the Ashanti, by Gerald McDermott. The artwork is visually stunning, and the story is simple and elegant. 

In this story, Anansi the spider has six sons: See Trouble, Road Builder, River Drinker, Game Skinner, Stone Thrower, and Cushion. 

Anansi finds himself in trouble—no surprise there!—and each of his six sons will play a part in saving him. What a lovely parable of how each of us, with our gifts differing, has an important calling that only we can fill.

I'm not so sure that Anansi brought stories to the earth from the sky, but the stories that have been spun about this small spider have circled the earth and made an important contribution to world mythology.

Best Moms of Mythology

Oscars? Lame. Grammies? Who needs 'em! We’re here at the annual Best Moms of Mythology Awards--the B-MOM's--waiting  for the first blingy stilletos to hit the red carpet.

I guess we’ll have to wait a little longer, because here comes Echidna, mother of all monsters in Greek mythology—and she prefers to go. . .barefoot. Is that Valentino or Lauren she’s wearing? Seriously, that off-the-shoulder  gown does nothing to hide her figure flaws. Sure, from the waist up, she’s a knock-out--but from the waist down, she's a writhing serpent. Some of Echidna’s charming children include the Hydra (a many headed sea serpent), Cerberus (a three-headed dog that stands guard at the gate of the underworld), the Chimera (a fire-breathing lion-snake-goat combo), the Caucasian Eagle (a bird that feasted on Prometheus’s liver), and Medusa, the lady with snakes for hair.

And now, a vision in burlap! Feast your eyes on the Corn Mother of Native Amercian lore. The Corn Mother was a beautiful maiden who married her true love. After a long, hard winter, her tribe was facing certain starvation. The young squaw told her husband, "There is only one way to save our people. You must kill me and scatter my body over the ground." The man could not, would not believe her plea. But at last, in utter desperation, he did as she had asked. From the earth sprang a new crop of corn and the tribe was saved. And not long after, corn fritters were invented. So next time you eat a corn dog, you can remember Corn Mother. Or not.

Here’s another interesting design choice. Haumea, a  Hawaian goddess, is wearing a retro muu-muu from Dior? Gucci? No! Judging by certain stylistic elements and the tag hanging from her sleeve, I'd say the Hawaian collection from Walmart. She is the mother of Pele, Kapo, and a bunch of kids with 15-syllable names. The Corn Mother gave the gift of corn, and what did Haumea give us? Childbirth. I kid you not. She is said to have invented the method that we think of as natural childbirth--the kind where you pray for drugs and some wiseacre keeps saying, "Push, push, push." Put down those rocks, Ladies! Before you stone Haumea, bear in mind that according to legend, all births before this were done by C-section. 

Now that’s what I call a stretch limo! The driver is opening the door, and here she is, the mother of Heimdallr, from Norse mythology. The driver is opening another door, and out steps—déjà vu—the mother of Heimdallr. He’s opening a third door. . .and out steps. . .can anybody guess? Yes, these are the Nine Mothers of Heimdallr, nine sisters who somehow collaborated to give birth to one son. A regular kid might expect to forget about his homework or feed his veggies to the dog now and then. With 18 eyes watching him and nine moms nagging him, poor Heimdallr didn't stand a chance.

Hold everything. Now that is one classy chariot. And here comes Isis, worshipped in ancient Egypt as the ideal wife and mother. That dress is a wardrobe malfunction just waiting to happen. The paparazzi went crazy when this nonconformist celebrity married her brother Osirus and gave birth to Horus, the god of war. That iconic headdress is a whopper. It’s shaped like a throne, and I guess that works, since she is also considered to be the mother of the pharaoh.

Who will win the award tonight? Who will be the Best Mom in Mythology? All the B-MOM nominees are impressive. But I'm rooting for Echidna. Mostly because, if she loses, her kids may wreak havoc on the theater and the audience and the planet. 

Oh never mind. Chuck Norris' mom just pulled up on her Harley. I think we're safe! 

Happy Mother's Day from the Stark Raving Mythopath!

B-MOM Awards for 2014, click here! 
B-MOM's for 2018, click here!

Titanic!

A teacup. A pocketwatch. A five dollar bill. A deck of cards. . . . Nearly 5,000 objects have been recovered from the wreckage of the great British steamship, the RMS Titanic.  You have to wonder. Did an elegant lady in evening attire sip tea that night as the ship sped toward disaster? Was a man losing badly at poker when someone noticed their feet were getting wet? Did an officer check his watch to guage how fast the ship was sinking? Each person on-board was lost in his own story, her own problems, until they were suddenly thrown together into one story, the story of the Titanic.

The Titanic

A crowd gathered to watch the Titanic depart from Southampton, England, just after noon on April 10, 1912. There had never been a ship like this — nearly as long as three football fields and as tall as an 11-story building. It was bound for New York City. 


Titanic was fully loaded —  stained-glass windows, carved paneling, fancy chandeliers. It had an elegant dining room where food prepared by French chefs was served on fine china. It had a beauty salon, a barber shop, a library, a Turkish bath, a squash court, a gymnasium and a swimming pool. It had everything — or so it seemed. 

Grand staircase of Titanic's sister ship, The RMS Olympic

Fast forward to April 14th. It was a calm, starry night, as Titanic plowed through the icy waters of the north Atlantic.  Frederick Fleet kept watch in the crow’s nest. With all the incredible luxuries of Titanic, someone had misplaced the one thing they really needed that night — binoculars for the look-out. Shortly before midnight, Fleet picked up his phone and called the First Officer, William Murdoch: “Iceberg ahead!”


Immediately, Murdock ordered the ship to turn sharply and put the engines in reverse.


Too late. 


The next sound Murdock heard was a soft thud of the ship hitting the iceberg. Such a soft sound — barely audible. Surely whatever caused it couldn’t have done much damage. But Captain Smith soon discovered that the iceberg had made a 200-foot gash along one side, and water was rushing in to 5 compartments. 


Only 20 minutes after impact, the captain knew the worst. He commanded the lifeboats to be filled with “women and children first.” But there weren’t enough lifeboats, and in all the uproar, some boats were launched half full. 


By the time the crew decided to call for help, the California, 10 miles away, had shut down their radio for the night. Another ship, the Carpathia, heard the distress call and came to the rescue — but they were 58 miles away. By the time they arrived, the ship had already disappeared into the ocean. The Carpathia could only rescue the survivors from their lifeboats. 

Titanic survivors in a lifeboat

It took only three  hours for the ship to sink. One survivor described how at the end, the lights went out, and then “slowly and almost majestically” the ship rose straight up in the water. And then, “She slid beneath the water of the cold Atlantic.”


More than 1500 people perished that night. After this disaster, new laws were passed. All ships were required to have enough life boats for everyone on board, and to have radio service around the clock.

April 15, 2012, marks the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. The wreckage — discovered in 1985—is slowly dissolving into the ocean where it came to rest. Soon, nothing will remain but a teacup, a pocketwatch and the other objects that were recovered. 


But the legend — and hopefully, the lessons learned — will last for a very long time.

Memorial to the Titanic Engineers - Southampton

Buried Alive!

Hel-l-l-l-l-lp! Somebody. Anybody?

He’s trying to kill me — the mean monster with the big stick. Please. You gotta get me out of here. Gasp! I’m running out of air. I’m – hack, cough – waaaaaaah! I’m dying!

You know, I had a pretty good life once. I was just too dumb to know it. I got to hang around the pack with my friends — Daisy, Bud, Clem, the whole gang. It was clean and dry and comfie. 

Oh sure, sometimes Bud rubbed me the wrong way, and Clem could be Mr. Crankypants first thing in the morning. But Daisy was always cheerful, and all in all, it was a great life.

That is, until the day the monster came.

First, he tore the roof right off our pack. We thought it was a tornado. Or zombies coming to suck out our brains
— though Clem said I needn't worry about that.

Then the two-legged leviathan took his pointy thing and dug a grave. Just my size. And then he buried me alive! No, really! It was so Stephen King. I tried to scream. I tried to run. But it was like a dream when you yell but nobody can hear you.

Bl-yeck! Dirt in my ears, dirt in my eyes. I’ve even got dirt in my no-no-nose. A-choo! Not to mention. . .pee-yu! Can you smell that fertilizer!  Grr-oss! What did I ever do to deserve this torture? Nothing—that’s what! Eeeew! Was that a worm?


I think I'm starting to crack. Just this morning, I was stretching my legs — when suddenly I remembered —what the heck! I'm a seed — I don’t have legs. So what are these long, spindly things growing from my south-side? This is re-e-eally creepy. I just don’t know who I am anymore.

So, get this, Mr. Cruel and Unusual.  I’m not gonna take this lyin' down. No sirree. I’m breakin' outta this joint. I'm pushing up with this sort-of-horn-thingie growing out of my top. Yeah, I know. Weird, huh? That’s okay. Once I break through, I’ll hitch a ride back to my old life, back to the pack. I’ll show you! Any minute now. . .push, push, harder, harder, pant, pant, ughhhhhh. . . .

LIGHT! Beautiful, warm, delicious light! Do I hear an angel choir? I’m free, I’m free!

Daisy! Is that you, old friend? I thought I’d never see you again! Hey — you look different! I always thought you were cute, but Girl — you are drop-dead gorgeous! What happened?

No, don’t joke with me. I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. You don’t know what he did to me.

No way! No. Freakin'. Way. That’s the craziest thing I ever heard. You mean. . .I’m a flower? Wow. Who knew? Beautiful? — me? Shut up! You're making me blush!

Daisy, look out! The monster's back! Um, gardener guy — whatever. What’s that big bucket with the spout? Is this more torture?

Ahhhhhhh. That feels so-o-o-o good. Didn’t know I was so thirsty. This is like champagne and a shower all in one. So, he takes care of us? How cool is that!

Hey, Bud! You're here too? Sch-weet! Nah, I wasn’t scared. I had it figured out all along.

Woo-hoo! I can’t believe the view from up here on this stalk. Clouds and sky. I can see the whole garden. Hi, Clem! I see you made it. This is freakin’ amazing.

Um. . .Daisy? Daisy! He's back. But what’s he got this time? This doesn't look good.

Clippers? What do you mean — pruning? Eeeeks. Those things look dangerous. 


Hel-l-l-l-l-lp! Somebody. . . .Anybody?

 I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat 

is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. 

But its death will produce many new kernels

—a plentiful harvest of new lives. 

John 12:24 NLT

The Day Heaven Weeps

God laughed, and the light exploded.

Then God called the new‑made Night and Day to stand before Him. “You will serve my many sons and daughters with times for work and times for rest,” said God. “But a day will come when high noon must yield to deep darkness—on The Day Heaven Weeps. Be ready.”

Day and Night looked at each other, not daring to show their puzzlement.

God made the Sea below and the Sky above, and Sea and Sky sang splashing, crashing praise to the Almighty.

God called the new‑made Sea and Sky to stand before Him. “You will serve my many sons and daughters, sending water into the clouds and rain upon the land. But hear this, Sea. There will come a day when you must yield to one who is your master. And Sky, you must reserve a storm for The Day Heaven Weeps. Await my command."

Then God spoke to the land and said, “Bring forth green growing things—towering and tiny, twirling and twining, beautiful and bizarre.” And plants covered the land.

To the plants, God said, “You will serve my many sons and daughters with your fruits and flowers.”

Then He spoke to one tree. “You will bring forth trees in many generations, and your branch will not wither.”

The tree shook its leaves for joy.

“But one of your descendants will be hewn down to become the wood for a great sacrifice—on The Day Heaven Weeps.”

And the tree felt a sudden stinging sadness, but it was an honor to share in the sadness of Creator.

Then God grabbed great gobs of light and rolled them in His hands like clay to form the golden sun, the silver moon, and all the diamond stars. “You will serve my many sons and daughters,” said God, “lighting their paths by day and by night.” 

And He grabbed another handful of the light that shone from His heart and flung it into space.

“Fly, little star—fly through the years and come to rest at the appointed time, on a wretched night, in a nowhere town, over a sorry‑looking cattle shed.”

And the little star flew through the years and tears and fears of mankind.

Then God made the Fishes that swim in the sea and the Birds that fly through the air.

“You will serve my many sons and daughters. They will learn to catch fish, until He comes who will teach them to fish for men. And Birds, you will teach them that they were not destined for the dust but for the skies.”

And God formed all the living creatures that dwell on the earth. “You will serve my many sons and daughters,” said God to the creatures, “by carrying their burdens and by giving them food and coverings. Your sacrifice for my children will be the greatest among created things—until The Day Heaven Weeps.”

These words were strange to the creatures, for why would sons and daughters of God have burdens or be hungry or need coverings?

And last of all, God made man—both male and female. God clothed them with the light that shone from His heart. And they were splendid, but they didn't know it because they were so taken with the beauty of Creator.

“Look upon your many servants,” said God. “And you shall be my dear children, Adam and Eve.” And God saw that all of His making was very, very good.

+++++

One day at dusk, a great angel flew into the Presence.

“Holy, holy, holy,” shouted the angel. “You are worthy to receive glory and honor and power.”

And all of the heavenly hosts cried, “Holy!”

“Is all in readiness?” asked God.

“Yes, Lord. Every created thing knows the part it must play.”  

The angel  looked perplexed. “Um. . .except. . .um, that is. . .”  The angel blushed. He was unaccustomed to being tongue‑tied.

“Yes,” said Creator sadly. “And it is time to deal with that now.”

And the Lord God went down in the cool of the day to walk in the Garden.

“Adam. . . ?”

No answer.

“Adam. . .why are you hiding?”

God, of course, sees everything, and He could see Adam hiding behind a thick curtain of sorrow. The light was all gone and he had tried to cover himself with leaves.

“You don't know what I've done,” said Adam, and bitter tears filled his eyes.

“I do know,” said God. 


And God looked into time‑to‑come and saw a dark noon, a fierce storm, a hewn tree—His Son dying.

“God, I can't see you anymore,” said Adam.

“It's all right. I can see you.”


Thunder rumbled on the distant horizon.

“I'm naked,” said Adam. And he shivered with cold and with fear.

The whoosh of wings that always surrounded God was 

suddenly silent. And into this silence, God whispered, “I’m naked too.”

The breath of God within the man came in short gasps. “I think I’m dying,” said Adam.

And God stooped down and gathered Adam and all the sorrow of the world into His arms. “I’m dying too,” said God. “I'm dying so that you can live.”

Adam couldn’t understand these words—for he couldn’t see what God could see. But he understood the tears falling on him from the face of God.