NARRATOR: Do you remember the story that Mr. Aesop told long ago about a
contest between the Sun and the Wind?
They tried to see which one could get a man to take his coat off. The Sun won, and most people think that was
the end of it. But alas, Dear Readers, that was
only the beginning. . .
WIND: [Wind whooshes
in] So, Hot Stuff. . .
SUN: Are YOU. . .talking
to. . .ME?
WIND: Yeah. How about a rematch?
SUN: Rematch? I beat you fair and square. You huffed and you puffed, but you couldn't
get the man to take his coat off. He
only pulled it tighter!
WIND: Yeah, yeah -- and
then you cranked up the heat
and he took it off. Big deal.
SUN: I won.
WIND: Yes, but you
cheated.
SUN: Did not!
WIND: Did too. I ought to just poof out your pilot light.
SUN: I ought to blister your backside.
WIND: Pl‑lease. Let's settle this like civilized beings.
SUN: So whadya have in
mind?
WIND: A contest. Winner takes all.
SUN: What contest?
WIND: This time let's
see who can make. . .
SUN: A cake?
WIND: No fair. You can bake it.
SUN: Then I'll win.
WIND: I've got it. Let's see who can make a kite fly.
SUN: No fair. You're a big blow-hard.
WIND: Then I'LL win.
SUN: Your ideas are dumb!
WIND: NOW I've GOT
it. Oh, I AM a genius!
SUN: What?
WIND: For the next month, let's see who
can control the weather. You try to
bring Summer in and I'll try to keep it Winter.
SUN: That's it? That's your great idea? Too easy.
WIND: Oh, you think so?
SUN: Piece of cake.
WIND: Your over‑confidence will make my
victory all the sweeter. So, do we have
a deal?
SUN: Deal.
[They shake on it.]
NARRATOR: So for the first few days of the new month, the wind did a
lot of whooshing and swooshing.
WIND: Whooooooooooooosh! Swooooooooooooosh!
Cough, cough.
SUN: Hey, Genius! Aren't you afraid
you'll blow your brains out?
WIND: Rooooooooar! March just came in like a Lion. Pretty impressive, don't you think? I'm not one to rub it in. . .
SUN: [Sarcastically] Of course not. . .
WIND: But. . .I'M WINNING!
SUN: Not exactly. The children are all outdoors riding bikes.
WIND: In their jackets.
SUN: But no hats.
WIND: [Mumbles] Guess I should work on the hat thing.
SUN: Oh, and do you hear
something?
WIND: What? Who's singing? What's a robin doing here?
WIND: We'll see.
SUN: What's that supposed
to mean?
NARRATOR: Later
that month. . .
SUN: Seriously? Snow? Awwwww, come on! Yesterday it looked like Spring. Today, there's snow and ice.
WIND: I, um, made a little trip north and
brought back a blast of Arctic air.
Ahhhhhhhhhh. [Pounds chest] Refreshing, isn't it?
SUN: A‑a‑a‑choo! Oh, my sinuses!
WIND: So. . .you wanna
build a snow‑man?
SUN: [blows nose] I most emphatically do NOT.
WIND: [scoops up a snowball and hurls it
at the Sun] I'm winning. I LIKE winning. Winning is fun.
SUN: How would you know?
WIND: What's that
supposed to mean?
SUN: Have you noticed the
oak tree?
WIND: Looks okay to
me. Snow on every branch.
SUN: Look around the
trunk.
WIND: Wha-a-a-at? Flowers?
A‑choo! Oh, my allergies! What are flowers doing in the snow?
SUN: Off‑hand, I'd say
they're blooming.
WIND: This is an
outrage!
SUN: Thanks. From you, that's a
compliment.
NARRATOR: This quarrel went on day after day until the end of the
month.
WIND: Okay -- where'd you go? Where are you hiding? What are you up to?
SUN: . . .Surprise! [Spreads out her arms] How do you like my. . .RAINBOW? Ta da!
WIND: Oh sure, take all the credit. If I hadn't blown the mist into just the
right position. . .
SUN: It was such a NICE
day, I thought all it needed was a pop of color.
Looks like I'm winning, not to rub it in.
WIND: Don't count your
chickens. . .
SUN: Meaning what?
WIND: You tell me. What do the words killer
frost mean
SUN: You wouldn't dare!
WIND: Watch me.
SUN: You'll murder my magnolias! My crocuses are croaking!
WIND: Casualties of war.
SUN: War crimes, you
mean. You leave me no choice. March may have come in like a lion, but it's
going out like a lamb‑to‑the‑slaughter.
WIND: Oh, yeah? How about some icicles?
SUN: How about POP‑sicles?
WIND: Drizzle!
SUN: Sizzle!
WIND: Monsoons!
SUN: Balloons!
WIND: I'll bring back
the glaciers.
SUN: I'll melt the ice-caps.
WIND: Oh yeah? How about some sleet? Sleet, slush,
and slop -- take
that!
SUN: Yuk! How about a nice sunburn?
WIND: Won't work.
SUN: Why not?
WIND: It's night now -- you've
already set. And I'm gonna
howl and
growl all night. Ow-owwwwwwwwww!!!
[SOUND OF TOWER CLOCK CHIMING: Gong, gong,
gong. . . .]
NARRATOR: A clock
strikes midnight on March 31st.
WIND: [Jumping up and
down] It's over, and I won. I won!
SUN: In your dreams, Wind-bag!
WIND: Oh yeah? Well at least half of March has been
cold and
nasty.
SUN: Well, half has been
sunny and bright.
WIND: I can't stand here arguing with
you. It's time for tornadoes in the
Midwest. We'll have to settle this next
year.
SUN: You bet we will. And I know who'll win.
WIND: Yeah. ME!
SUN: Ha! We'll see.
SUN & WIND: Same time, next
year!
NARRATOR: To this very day, the Sun and the Wind battle it out each year, which
probably explains why weather in the month of March is a crazy‑quilt. If March comes in like a lion, it goes out
like a lamb -- or
vice versa. Sudden spring. Sudden
snow. Kites and crocus. Birdcalls and snowballs. The last snow day of the school year. It's kind of fun. March has a lot of personality -- even
if it's a split personality.
So if you find March just a tad confusing. . . .
WIND: I won!
SUN: No, I won!
NARRATOR: . . .you aren't the only one.
Image credits:
The Wind and the Sun poem - Contributing Library: New York Public Library,
Public Domain
Sun emblem - © Can Stock Photo / nalakatst
Wind blowing - © Can Stock Photo / cteconsulting
Robin - Author: HlnBC
Crocus - Author: Jean-Marc Rosier
Crocus in snow - Photographer: AnRo0002
Rainbow - © Can Stock Photo / Krisdog
Angry sun - © Can Stock Photo / yayayoyo
Tornado - © Can Stock Photo / pangeran
Children flying a kite - Victorian Trade Cards Collection, Public Domain